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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Stealing the title from Outdoor Life back page.
I brought my farm about 20 years ago when I retired. It was about 5 miles from where I grew up. The guy that had owned it before me had farmed some mostly growing cash crops. Had his picture in the local paper running thru one of the fields lookin up at the DEA helicopter.
After I bought the farm my Dad came down and we were going thru the barns. Dad was a Korean war vet just a good old country boy. I miss him. A better shot than I could dream of being.
We went into one of the barns and there must have been 100+ hand made ( out of 5 foot woven wire) round plant protectors. About 1 foot diameter.
Dad looked at them shook his head and said. " That guy must have really loved tomatoes "
 

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We can legally grow 4 plants now in Va for personal use . As soon as my nephew gets me some seeds I am going to grow 4 plants . They say deer love it . I don’t know about rabbits . I don’t smoke anything but food . My mom says she wants some to put in food for my stepdad . He has Parkinson’s and she heard that mj helps it , but if knew what it was he wouldn’t eat it .
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
When I had just bought the farm I was into birddogs ( german shorthairs ) birds were already gone so I took to buying birds and releasing them. I had 1 12 acre field and my neighbor wanted to cut the hay. I told him he could but I wanted spots of uncut hay all over the field.
My dad had already moved to town to be closer to doctors and hospitals really enjoyed going to the farm.
He called and said "son Ray cut your hay but I have never seen anyone cut hay and do such a bad job"
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
My great grand mother went to her grave convinced that the space walk was really a Hollywood production and near really happen at all. When you consider that she saw cars, telephones, airplanes, and televisions all come into her life, no wonder she was skeptical. She was old when I was 10 years old. One thing she loved was fishing. She believed in cane poles, bobbers and worms and bank fishing. Sundays after church you could count on Dad and I taking her fishing.
Under the influence of my Dad's infinite wisdom, we decided to take her fiddling for worms. Armed with a hand saw and a couple of 5 galleon buckets we proceeded to take her to our favorite hillside. By this time she was sure we were pulling her leg. As I cleaned off a circle of about 15 feet of leaves from around a 2 inch sapling, my Dad proceeded to cut the sapling off ( probably a hickory ) about 12 inches from the ground and begin to pull the saw across the top of the sapling causing the ground to vibrate. By now she was sitting on top of one of the 5 galleon buckets, laughing as she said we had definitely tricked her. Then the ground starts boiling with worms. Those worms were about 12 inches long and had this gooey yellow slime all over them. I said to her " are you goin to just watch or are you going to pick up worms ?)
Half a 5 gal bucket of worms later we were walking out and she proclaimed " that is most magical thing I have ever seen". It did not take much to beat cars, telephones, televisions and airplanes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
My grandmother wasn't the fisherperson my great grand mother was but she had lived through the depression raising 10 kids with a share cropper husband. She could stretch stuff. I was the oldest grandkid just 6 years younger than her youngest son and I stayed with them a lot as both my parents were working.
I was 7 to 8 years old and staying with her during the day. I had certain chores to do. One was gathering the egg. Went out one day and there was a big black chicken snake laying in the egg bins. I went an told her an out she comes with a hoe and proceeds to kill the chicken snake by chopping off its head.
She then proceeds to take a paring knife and slit the snake head to toe and removed the eggs. Into the egg basket they went. Never mention again and we were served scrambled eggs for breakfast morning.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
TJ did I mention that I do not like snakes. One of my uncles ( remember they are closer to my age than my dads really don't like them. ) We use to fish limb lines in the Elk River before Tims Ford Dam. Caught some nice cats, gar, suckers and occasional bass. We had some great fish frys in an old iron pot with a wood fire. Simple process travelling in 14 foot jon boat with 25 hp johnson attaching cord line with a hook from a limb overhanging the river. You could bait it with anything usually minnows, chicken livers, hotdogs.
My uncle hated snakes so bad he carried a little H & R 410 in the boat an achieved much joy in blasting them on the banks and on the tree limbs.
One night as we drifted down the river, I was in the front tying cords to limbs and baiting hooks and he using a paddle to keep us somewhat stationary. When I heard a loud thump. I turned my head and saw a huge cotton mouth curling up in the bottom of the boat. Then I heard the unmistakable roar of the 410. It took about 15 minutes for the boat to sink. Ever try patching a hole in an aluminum jon boat with bondo.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I am going to stay with my grandmother. She was a strong woman but she could exhibit a few quirks. She was jealous of my grandfather and I don't know why. He was most honest man I ever met and never met anyone who was not his friend. Financial successful he was not. He could not read or write signed his name with an X. He taught me how to hunt, fish and be respectful of all people.
I always had a mischievous streak. My grandfather was in his late 70's and still working 3 jobs. He cut yards for a number of people, worked in the laundry for the local hospital and worked as the yard man for the local nursing home. My grandmother had it in her heard that only people in nursing homes were rich women and they were after my grandfather. I took a pair of my sisters undies ( she was probably 10 at the time) and stuffed them in the glove box of my grandfather's falcon. As we went to the grocery store, I asked my grandmother to get me some candy ( always some in the glove box). She found the underwear and went ballistic. She just knew my grandfather had had one of those rich women in the car. Now if you can imagine 2 - 70 to 80 years olds going at it in that Ford Falcon you have got a good imagination. An then my grandfather keeping the kids 10 year old undies that the 80 year old lady was wearing as a souvenir and putting them in his glove box, then you are thinking right along with my grandmother. My grandfather just looked at me smiled and knew what I had done.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
My grandfather passed ( had a heart attack and died working in hospital laundry.)
My grandmother eventually moved into one of those nursing homes. I was treated as a brother to my dad's family ( when my grandmother died I was only grandchild asked to pay a share of the funeral expenses ). I was living in a different town but would stop by whenever I could. I was there one day and ask her if she needed anything. She said salt. They would not let her have salt. I went to the office and they explained to me that she had high blood pressure and and was on a low sodium diet. To that I responded she is 80 something years old and in a nursing home what is it going to do kill her. I went to the local grocery store and brought her some little Morton salt shakers ( they had some I have not seen in years that were about an inch high) and she hid them in her room. When she died and I had to help clean out the room there must have been 20 of those little salt shakers hidden everywhere.
 

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New school year , teacher ask students to tell what their fathers did for a living, most kids had the usual answers, fireman, policeman, carpenter, mailman, etc, but Johnny said his father danced in a club in front of men and they throw money at him and sometimes he goes home with them, shocked the teacher asks Johnny to stay after class, she ask him is that story true, Johnny says no , my dad works for Biden but its to embarrassing to tell people
 
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